Monday, March 2, 2009

Mother

I've had an interesting couple of days health-wise. I turned 34 a couple weeks ago and already was aware that I am falling apart. But I didn't realize how bad until today.

Take a second and look at your right foot. See your big toe? See where it connects to your foot? There's probably a small hump there on the inside of your foot where that joint is. Well Saturday morning @ 2am I woke up thinking that someone had hit that joint with a hammer. The pain was so bad I thought that somehow I had broken my foot in my sleep. After about 30 minutes of thinking "OUCH!" and "What Happened?" I managed to fall back asleep. From then until this morning that pain got progressively worse. I started limping Sunday and couldn't even put on a normal shoe today. Finally this morning I had enough and deicded to go to the Dr.

Here are 10 things I learned today as a result of my visit to the foot Dr.

1.) When you choose a Dr. out of the yellow pages, you might be surprised at the condition of their office.

2.) Just because a lady is sitting in the reception area behind a desk doesn't mean she's the receptionist. She might just be the Dr. you've come to see.

3.) You know you have foot issues when a Dr. actually uses a "Dremmel Tool" on your foot. (can be bought in Wal-Mart's hardward isle)

4.) When The Dr. Says "You have a touch of Gout." Don't laugh. She's not kidding. Doctors rarely kid when giving diagnosis.

5.) The response to "Doesn't gout only effect old people?" is "not always".

6.) When the Doctor asks "Would you like a shot in your foot for the pain" what she means is "Would you like me to jab this needle right into the joint where it hurts the most and inject more medicine than your foot should be able to contain."

7.) When driving with a hurt right foot, you might think it wise to use your left foot for braking. It is not. Your left foot is not trained for such responsibility and might decide to bring the car to a much more sudden stop that you planned, therefore almost throwing you through the windshield.

8.) When you are 34 and tell people you have gout they will always make some comment about you being old.

9.) Anti-inflamtory medicines do not work near as fast as you want them to.

10.) When the Dr. says "Say ouch" right as she injects you, the word that may actually come out of your mouth is "Mother".

4 comments:

  1. You weren't thinking "mother" were you?

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  2. This was funny. I'm glad your agony could entertain.

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  3. At least you're making people laugh granted it's at your expense - but . . eh. . schadenfreude.

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  4. schadenfreude? Great word. I had to google it.

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