Friday, January 28, 2011

My Most Embarrassing Moment

We all have embarrassing moments. But many of us who are “horizontally challenged” have at least one embarrassing moment that was a result of our size. I thought I’d blogged about mine before, but I can’t find it. So just for your enjoyment, here’s mine...

The year was 1998. My gorgeous young wife (we’d gotten married just months earlier) and I went with the student group from church to Six Flags Over Georgia. We’d been having fun all day. As I have a tendency to do, I was being loud and making feeble attempts of entertaining my wife and those around us. After a full day of fun, we decided to call it a day and head for the parking lot. On the way out, we saw one ride we had not yet enjoyed, “The Great Gasp”.

That ride for me was exactly what I thought of when I thought of six flags. I can remember riding it with my dad and sister when I was young. The great gasp was a parachute ride that would lift you high into the air over everything, then drop you slowly back down to earth.  I didn’t want to leave there without riding it with her. It wasn’t exactly a thrill ride.  But being the idiot I am, I decided to act in line like I was scared. I talked loudly about how I was afraid of heights. I begged Kristi not to make me ride it. Basically, doing all I could to embarrass her and make the people around us laugh.

Finally it was our turn to ride. We climbed in the seat. The teenage ride worker locked us in and said “Have a nice ride”. Immediately, still trying to entertain the folks around us I yelled “No!!” and grabbed Kristi’s arm like I was afraid for my life. I can remember seeing people in line smile at us as we lifted up, ready to shoot 100 feet into the air. Then it happened. We got up to about 20 feet then slowly lowered back to the ground.
I was afraid the ride had broken. Everyone in line was looking at us wondering what was going on.
The teenage worker came back to us again and as politely as possible said “I’m sorry. You’ve exceeded the weight limit of this ride.” With everyone looking at me, I climbed off, watched the guy fasten Kristi into the seat, and watched her looking down at me as she shot very quickly into the air. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the folks in line again. I guess that’s what I get for drawing attention to myself. I will admit though, I've laughed about it and told this story many times since then.

My friend Joseph after hearing this story said I should have yelled while getting off the ride “Wow, Kristi, you need to lose weight!!” (She’s a tiny little thing compared to me.) But I might not be married now if I had.

Unfortunately, I’m 30 lbs heavier now than I was then. But, I'm doing all I can now to keep anything like that from ever happening again. Plus, this ride was dismantled in 2005, so I'll have to find other rides to embarrass myself on.
What’s you’re most embarrassing moment?

Glad to be able to report these stats for this week...
Weight in Spring 2008 = 330.5 lbs (heaviest ever)
Final Goal Weight = 230.0 lbs
Weight 01/01/11 = 310.6 lbs
Current Weight = 302.2 lbs
This year’s Δ = -8.4 lbs
Total Δ = -28.3 lbs
To go = 72.2 lbs.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

10 Things People Assume About Fat People

I've spent the last 26 days on a renewed journey to try to lose some lbs. ( -7 lbs so far this year =)
During this time I've thought a lot about weight loss, exercise, and just being plain ol' fat.
I've realized that people assume some things about fat people. We all assume some stuff. Right?
Well, here are 10 things I thought of....

10 assumptions people make about fat people.
1.) If someone in the group passed gas, it was the fat person. If multiple fat people are in the group, it was the largest male.
2.) Fat people know how to cook.
3.) Fat people are funny and have sharpened their wit by making fun of themselves.
4.) Fat people stink. It’s difficult to wash that much flesh on a regular basis.
5.) The fat person in the group is going to eat more than everyone else. Therefore, when preparing a meal for a group, you must plan accordingly.
6.) If there is food left over at the end of the meal, the fat person will want it.
7.) Fat people do not enjoy participating in any athletics except football and sumo wrestling.
8.) Fat people know where the best restaurants are.
9.) Fat people are lazy and this is proved by the abundance of shopping scooters in Wal-mart.
10.) If a fat person sits in a chair and immediately proclaims “This chair is broken.”, their girth must have caused the breakage. Because there’s no way it was broken before they sat in it.

My research has led me to believe only 7 or 8 of these are true.
What other assumptions do you know of?

Monday, January 24, 2011

Sunday Setlist 01-23-11

From time to time I post our setlist from our church's Sunday AM worship service. This entry is part of the Sunday Setlists over at There you can check out what churches are doing all over the country. Here's what we did Sunday in our morning worship service at Westwood Baptist Church in the Forestdale community of Birmingham, AL  (Our services generally include a 35-40 voice choir, 4 person praise team, and full orchestra.)

Had a good service overall. Transitions were smooth. No major issues.
Setlist was a little hymn heavy. That was on purpose. I've noticed a real disconnect recently from our senior adults (60% of our church family) when we do newer songs (anything written after 1970 =). So I continue to try to find and introduce new songs, while at the same time keeping older songs in the mix that everyone will find worshipful. Not an easy thing to do. Sometimes I wonder if it would just be better to have two different styles of services. I know it would be more work on the worship staff and would put a separation in the church body based on musical tastes, but it might be beneficial. Just a thought.

Here's what we did Sunday....
Orchestra Prelude: Praise To The Lord The Almighty (Hymn)
Announcements - Worship Leader
-Praise To The Lord The Almighty (Hymn)
-Hosanna (Praise Is Rising) (Baloche)

Welcome / Fellowship - Pastor

-Wonderful, Merciful Savior (Wyse & Rogers)
-How Great Is Our God (Tomlin)
-How Great Thou Art – chorus (Hymn)
Offertory Prayer - Deacon
Choir: When I Survey The Wondrous Cross (Experiencing God)
Transitional Chorus: Holy, Holy, Holy (Hymn)
Message: Pastor: “True to His Word: The Indestructible Vitality of the Bible” (Hebrews 4:12-13)

Theme: God uses the Word to bring us to new life

Invitation: Wherever He Leads I’ll Go (Hymn)
Closing Chorus: Doxology(Hymn )

How was your service?

I Took Them To The Garden Where I Guess They Grow The Olives

The weight loss journey continues.
I’m eating a little better. So far, I’ve just cut back. I haven’t yet started eating like a rabbit. Instead, I’ve just cut a lot of stuff out including french fries and most bad snacks. I was strong enough to say “no thanks” to a box of donuts that was available to me all day last Thursday. Though I have gone crazy from time to time and splurged on some meals.

For example, a meal at Olive Garden wasn't the best choice recently....
I took my fam and ate a great meal, which I regretted as I logged my calories into

1.5 plates of salad.
2 bread sticks
Chicken parmesan with fettuccine alfredo instead of spaghetti and marinara sauce.
Total calories: 2300 .... OUCH!
( but it sure was delicious.)

I’m exercising more. My lovely wife and I have decided we’ll be purchasing a treadmill with some of our tax refund this year. I’m looking forward to having it. I know I’ll burn more calories once it is in the house. Or at least, I’ll have an additional place to hang my clothes. (Anyone who knows me well knows this is a joke. That would require me actually moving my clean clothes out of the laundry room floor.)

I don’t have a ton to say today really. So to close, just a few facts I’ve been reminded of recently and my current stats....
6 Facts:
1.) Gaining weight is easy
2.) Losing weight is hard.
3.) You have to be patient for weight loss to happen.
4.) I’m not a patient person.
5.) I have set a goal to weigh 100 lbs less than the heaviest I’ve ever been.
6.) I will meet that goal.

Weight in Spring 2008 = 330.5 (heaviest ever)
Final Goal Weight = 230.0
Weight 01/01/11 = 310.6
Current Weight = 305.00
This year’s Δ = -5.6 lbs
Total Δ = -25.5 lbs
To go = 75 lbs.

Are you getting healthier? How's your journey going?

Friday, January 14, 2011

Why A Banana Is A Better Breakfast Choice Than 2 Pop Tarts

For a long time, my go-to breakfast choice when heading to work has been 2 brown sugar cinnamon pop tarts. Since I'm now trying to eat healthier I've decided to make a change in this habit. Today, I left the pop tart box alone and reached instead for a banana. As I ate it for breakfast at work this morning, I began to consider all the ways that a banana is a better choice for breakfast than a cinnamon pop tart. Here's what I came up with....

1.) It's healthier.

....That's all I got.

Bananas are ok. If I was in high school with a banana, I might be willing to take her to the movies. But I wouldn't take her to the prom. I just like her. I don't "like her - like her". It's going to be pretty hard to leave behind those pop tarts, but I know I need to. The pop tarts, the burgers, the cookies. I'll miss you all. I mean we can still be friends, but I'm afraid we won't be able to hang out as much.

Instead I have to focus on eating better and excercising more. Here are just a few tools I'm using to help me.

RunKeeper is a website and iPhone app that keeps track of the exercise I do. You can follow me on it here. Through GPS it gives me distance, speed, and even coaches me along as I walk/run letting me know my pace and distance. It also tracks how many calories I've burned which I then input into...

I use myfitnesspal to log all the food I eat. Follow me on it here. It's a little harder to eat unhealthy if you know you're going to have to write it down later. Right now, based on my height and current weight it says I can eat 2270 calories per day. Yeah, that's a lot. So I try to stay under that.

Both of these are handy because they can be used online or on my phone.

What other tools do you use to stay healthy?

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Bad Blogging And Fester's Arms

I'm a bad blogger. I admit it.
Way back in November I was blogging about our 7 day Disney trip but stopped after day 2 when I got sick and never started back. Since then, many "Tales from Street Road" have been lived, but I haven't taken time to write about them. Rather than trying to go back and blog about some of those adventures. How about a quick list? .....

1.) Disney trip was AWESOME!
2.) Christmas is the best holiday ever.
3.) Iris the iPhone has been replaced. (Cue sad music.)  I now have an iPhone 4!! (Cue celebration music!)
4.) Awesome services at church during 40 days of prayer focus.

Well, I may have to go back and write about some of that. It's just too good not to share.

But for now I want to let you know about something new. Well, maybe not new, but something I'm starting again. I've decided to lose 100 lbs. Yep. You read right. I'm going to lose 100 lbs. That's quite a goal I know. But I know I can do it. I even considered starting a brand new blog to write about the journey, but I figure I might as well keep it here. No point in falling behind on two blogs when I can just as easily just fall behind on this one.

If I had started a new blog, it would have been called "Fester's Arms." Why, you ask?

On December 19th, 2010, I was in a church Christmas play called “Christmas in Cricket County”. I played a hillbilly named Fester. The pics of that event have inspired me to get in better shape. When I saw them I couldn’t help but notice my arms. Sure, they’re big and flabby, but really that wasn’t what bothered me. What caught my attention was the farmer’s tan. As far as farmer’s tans go, it’s kind of impressive. I mean, my forearms haven’t seen much sun in about 3 months, but that farmer’s tan is still evident. Sadly, they’re like that because my upper arms haven’t seen the sun in probably 16 years. It was just after high school when I started swimming in a shirt because I wasn’t comfortable with my weight and didn’t want to subject anyone to the view of me shirtless. So I’ve been “shirted” in public ever since. Well, it’s time for that to end.

Do I want a great tan. No. That’s not what this is about.
Do I want to be able to parade around shirtless? Not really.

I just want to get in better shape and be more comfortable with myself.
I want to look better standing beside my gorgeous wife.
I want to be healthier so I can be a better example and better father for my 2 sons.

I know I can do it. I’ve lost weight before. In the summer of 2008 I lost 40+ lbs. But sadly I’ve put half of that back on. I’m just going to take it a day at a time. Eat better, exercise more, and blog about it so you can help keep me accountable.

Here are some stats goals I’ve set for myself. I hope you will see me reach them all in the months to come.
Weight in Spring 2008 = 330.5 (heaviest ever)
Lowest weight in recent years = 286.4 (Fall of 2008)
Current Weight  = 309
Final Goal Weight = 230

5 Smaller Goals...
■Wear jeans I still own from my early 20's.
■Do 100 push ups
■Bounce on our trampoline. (250lb capacity)
■Wear a 1X shirt
■Run in a 5K.
I’m sure more goals will be added to this list. But I figure this is a decent start.

So, to conclude I have 2 questions on my mind.
1.) Will you help keep me accountable?
2.) What’s for lunch?