Friday, January 28, 2011

My Most Embarrassing Moment

We all have embarrassing moments. But many of us who are “horizontally challenged” have at least one embarrassing moment that was a result of our size. I thought I’d blogged about mine before, but I can’t find it. So just for your enjoyment, here’s mine...

The year was 1998. My gorgeous young wife (we’d gotten married just months earlier) and I went with the student group from church to Six Flags Over Georgia. We’d been having fun all day. As I have a tendency to do, I was being loud and making feeble attempts of entertaining my wife and those around us. After a full day of fun, we decided to call it a day and head for the parking lot. On the way out, we saw one ride we had not yet enjoyed, “The Great Gasp”.

That ride for me was exactly what I thought of when I thought of six flags. I can remember riding it with my dad and sister when I was young. The great gasp was a parachute ride that would lift you high into the air over everything, then drop you slowly back down to earth.  I didn’t want to leave there without riding it with her. It wasn’t exactly a thrill ride.  But being the idiot I am, I decided to act in line like I was scared. I talked loudly about how I was afraid of heights. I begged Kristi not to make me ride it. Basically, doing all I could to embarrass her and make the people around us laugh.

Finally it was our turn to ride. We climbed in the seat. The teenage ride worker locked us in and said “Have a nice ride”. Immediately, still trying to entertain the folks around us I yelled “No!!” and grabbed Kristi’s arm like I was afraid for my life. I can remember seeing people in line smile at us as we lifted up, ready to shoot 100 feet into the air. Then it happened. We got up to about 20 feet then slowly lowered back to the ground.
I was afraid the ride had broken. Everyone in line was looking at us wondering what was going on.
The teenage worker came back to us again and as politely as possible said “I’m sorry. You’ve exceeded the weight limit of this ride.” With everyone looking at me, I climbed off, watched the guy fasten Kristi into the seat, and watched her looking down at me as she shot very quickly into the air. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the folks in line again. I guess that’s what I get for drawing attention to myself. I will admit though, I've laughed about it and told this story many times since then.

My friend Joseph after hearing this story said I should have yelled while getting off the ride “Wow, Kristi, you need to lose weight!!” (She’s a tiny little thing compared to me.) But I might not be married now if I had.

Unfortunately, I’m 30 lbs heavier now than I was then. But, I'm doing all I can now to keep anything like that from ever happening again. Plus, this ride was dismantled in 2005, so I'll have to find other rides to embarrass myself on.
What’s you’re most embarrassing moment?

Glad to be able to report these stats for this week...
Weight in Spring 2008 = 330.5 lbs (heaviest ever)
Final Goal Weight = 230.0 lbs
Weight 01/01/11 = 310.6 lbs
Current Weight = 302.2 lbs
This year’s Δ = -8.4 lbs
Total Δ = -28.3 lbs
To go = 72.2 lbs.


  1. It was high school, and I was in the marching band. We were at some marching competition (where we performed miserably), and we stayed to watch the other bands play. I wore a pair of shorts that were getting a bit old under my uniform 'cuz wanted to just take off my uniform pants and not have to deal with changing clothes.

    Well, my uniform pants fly off when we're done, and I'm walking back with a bunch of friend to the grandstands to watch the rest of the bands. I make the first step into the bleachers and *BRRRRRRRIP* go my shorts. I had pretty much shredded them.

    I didn't move from the stands the rest of the afternoon. When it was time to go, I tried to hide as best I could behind everyone else on the way to the bus. So embarrassing.

  2. My downfall were those zip-in-the-back pants that surfaced briefly in the late 90s. They zipped in the back and had no button, to reduce the line under your shirt. I was quite literally at a hotel luau, with giant pigs and laulau spread out before me. You feel self-conscious about eating in public anyhow, let alone a feast like this...but the skinny people are doing it too! So I lean forward, and feel some sort of activity "back there." Acting casual, I reach around to assess the situation. I feel fabric across the board, so I figure the zipper slipped down a notch or something unimportant.

    There were hula competitions, and 4 hours of eating and socializing. It was at the END of this event that the one decent girl there leans over and tells me that the whole zipper had given out, and that I was displaying my underwear choices with the whole luau, and had been while stuffing my face. Such failure.