5 DUMB THINGS

Today for your entertainment, a list.

5 things I've done (or do) that prove I'm not as smart as I think I am.

1. I didn't understand the phrase "You can't have your cake and eat it too." until I was in my twenties. Not that I thought about it a lot, but when I did hear the phrase I would always think "why can't you eat it? It's your cake! No one can stop you from eating your own cake! Right?" One day Kristi said it and a light bulb came on for me. I finally understood what the phrase meant. Of course, she immediately began laughing at me.
   
2. When I was young our church had an offering table in front of the pulpit. On it was engraved "This do in remembrance of me." I thought it was pronounced "re-mem-branke" until I heard our preacher pronounce it when I was 11.
   
3. When I was a kid in school we had to memorize all of our "times tables". You know… 2X2=4, 2X3=6, etc. I was sick and missed a lot of school the week we worked on 7's & 8's tables . To this day I have to pause and think about it when I have to figure out what 7X8 equals. I normally have to think that 7X7=49, so just add 7 to get 56. I never just know that the answer is 56.
   
4. I remember taking an IQ test when I was in 8th Grade at school. One of the questions was "Who invented the light bulb?". I confidently answered "Thomas Jefferson". Mrs. Jones, wanting to help, but not allowed to question my answers, just raised her eyebrows and looked at me over her glasses. I knew this was a sign to rethink my answer. So I thought about it for a minute and said with more confidence. "Yeah, that's right . It was Thomas Jefferson". She just looked back down at her paper without saying a word. To my surprise, I was not placed in any advanced classes that year.
   
5. On my first day of 6^th grade, I started going to a new school, Bessemer Academy. I got new clothes for this first day. Since it was a private school I thought I should dress up a little more than I did at Glen Oaks Elementary (public school) where I went previously. I remember wearing a red and blue plaid button down shirt and navy blue dress pants (slacks). I came home that day telling my mom, "I think I should wear slacks every day. They look nicer than jeans plus they're 'slick feeling' and help me run faster." Although that fashion decision didn't last long, those years at Bessemer Academy were not the best years of my life.
   

What have you done that's proved you're not the brightest bulb in the knife drawer?